by Henry Precht
It seems a shame to let all that fol-de-rol from the Olympics be cast aside after such an abbreviated run. As Sochi revealed to us novices, there are always new, curious forms of sport that merit recognition.
One of those with growing multi-seasonal appeal to large groups of men and women in the streets is the popular coup or revolution game. Worldwide, these outbreaks — while spontaneous and adopting local rules of engagement — must adhere to certain principles of revolution that have been set forth by seasoned scholars and pundits parachuting in.
Let’s see who garners the top medals in the twelve prescribed categories:
1. Revolution brings together people of disparate ideologies and goals who are united only in seeking to bring down an autocrat; after success only one faction survives and exercises autocratic dominance over the former allies
Gold Medal: Iran; Silver: Egypt; Bronze: Syria (pending)
2. Revolution begins with economic grievances, adds political complaints and, after success, continues in reverse order, i.e., political, then economic gripes
Gold Medal: Tunisia; Silver: Egypt; Bronze: Ukraine (pending)
3. Parliamentary or other opposition with highest potential for splitting off their territory from the nation
Gold Medal: Ukraine Silver: Taliban Bronze: Arizona
4. Outsiders support opposition forces who are (1) long term enemies or (2) become so
Gold Medal: Syria; Silver: Egypt; Bronze: Libya
5. Outsiders cannot remember who is fighting whom or for what purpose
Gold Medal: Thailand; Silver: Yemen; Bronze: Bosnia
6. Opposition pleads for religious or sectarian freedom, but proponents of those virtues do not listen and persist with oppression
Gold Medal: Israel; Silver: Bahrain; Bronze: China (in Tibet)
7. Victorious opposition which has fought for religious freedom later oppresses its fellow citizens
Gold Medal: South Sudan; Silver: Iraq; Bronze: Turkey
8. Most outrageous assertions of guilt of opposition and purity of rulers
Gold Medal: Egypt; Silver: Saudi Arabia; Bronze: Russia
9. Opposition condemns rival party overreach while raking in cash from wealthy power centers
Gold Medal: Tea Party; Silver: Egypt; Bronze: South Africa
10. Highest level of distrust maintained towards its American partner in the struggle against revolutionaries
Gold Medal: Afghanistan; Silver: Israel; Bronze: Egypt
11. Most comfortable middle class opposition movement
Gold Medal: Venezuela; Silver: Turkey; Bronze: Scotland
12. Most determined to kill as many of its own people as necessary to hold or achieve power
Gold Medal: Syria; Silver: Al Qaeda in Iraq/Syria; Bronze: Chechnya
13- A superpower that does not learn that meddling in other countries’ internal affairs will backfire and end in disaster:
Gold Medal: USA in Iraq; Silver: USA in Libya; Bronze: USA in Ukraine (pending, but already the outcome seems quite clear)
Farhang does it again. I’m left speechless, which I’m sure others appreciate.
Thank you, Mr. Jahanpour, point very well taken.
Thank you Mr. Precht. I knew that you would not mind me making those rather provocative comments. I always read your informative articles with great interest and learn a lot from them.